The hard core truth about regrets. Everyone has them.
You’ll wonder if you did that thing instead of this thing, what would have happened differently.
You’ll agonize on why you didn’t do that one thing.
You’ll wish you said this or didn’t say that.
You’ll wish you told him or her the truth before it was to late.
You wonder if you would have left sooner would it have hurt less.
You may even feel badly that you said good-bye to someone with more love and tenderness.
The reality is. It’s too late.
The pain is: you didn’t.
The hope is: the learning.
Do you waste your thoughts and emotions on these kind of ideas sometimes, maybe more often that you admit and you know its not good for you. You know its to late, and you can’t help but wonder. Torture yourself with questions. Holding your future hostage.
Everyone I’ve met wishes they could have done one thing differently at a moment in time. You think to yourself ” What did I do ? How can I ever feel better about this moment ? What was I thinking ? It is gone forever, I’m such an idiot.” The negativity is driving your life into the abyss of nothingness. One point of view is, embrace this moment of the past, as a moment which has made you more.
More clear of yourself.
More aware of the power of choice.
What I know is this, if your regret sits still in itself, it then becomes a negative living breathing energy within you. It becomes your out of control pain. Those could haves, might haves, and should haves start living a life of their own and rot away inside you. They over come you, they hurt you, they push you into the wrong directions. As capable beings we have to change these ideas so they won’t make us feel regretful any longer. With that in mind, here are a few soulful tips to help you stop regretting the things you can’t change, and focus instead on how to use those regrets to live a more empowered life now.
1. Own your original and organic self.
Embrace what makes you incredible and unique. Yes, I know its not easy but it is really ? You were born loving you. You were born offering love to others. Seeing the light in them. You were born without judgement. I bet you never wondered what was wrong with you at 2 or 3 years old. I bet you learned that from somewhere else. Its time to say goodby to disapproving yourself. Its time to explore your “Organic Self”. Decide to fully own what makes you different and use it to your life advantage. Besides, anyone who acts like they are “normal” is reaching for what exactly ? Do you know anyone who is normal? Everyone is uniquely different, we understand, respond and feel completely unique to each other. When you are ready and understand you are wasting precious life time being disapproving of you? You’ll stop it. I know you want to. You are the only you in the whole world who can do it. Everyone in terms of organics, is certified. Time to embrace yourself as such!
2. Become an empowered-self anyway.
It’s impossible to control the past, because it is already done. Its impossible to control other people’s opinions of you. You know you can’t spend your whole life trying to make people love you, right? Right ? Empowerment is accepting this fully. You can’t be and do anyone but you. People will attract to you who belong in your wonderfulness. People will leave your life for the same reasons you will leave theirs. You don’t attract to them any longer . Know its ok to be rejected and to reject. Know it is ok to have someone in your life for a season. Know and trust you will attract better and more as you choose evolution. After all, that is the power of being a Soul+Human empowered creator.
3. Follow the avoid negativity and conquer mind strategy.
Ignore the negative mind because it only has the power you give it. Stop yourself from talking to it and asking it to validate how bad you are and how bad what you did was. Don’t ask it what it means when it reminds of the stories your regrets and how bad it all went down. You see there is a distinct difference between being honest with yourself and using regrets to be unkind and abusive with yourself. Remember you are the controller of your mind. Your mind actually only reflects to you what is bothering you deep down inside, so take charge of that by owning it. It is then your mind will silence.
4. Evaluate who you spend time with and choose the loving ones.
Obviously right ? Not for many. Client after client i’ve met do not give themselves permission to choose to rid themselves of negative, draining people. Is this you? How often do you say yes to be liked, to avoid loneliness, because you feel obliged or are afraid of confrontation. Do you attend parties or functions because you should, instead of want to? Your time is a most precious resource because it is where your regrets are created when you waste it on activities or people you don’t feel good with. At the end of our lives, we most often regret not having spent more time with the ones we love. Make sure they know how you value them. You’ll always be glad you did, because these will be your end of life memories – instead of your regrets.
5. Love yourself.
We spend a lifetime with ourselves. If this actually drains you, bores you, or makes you unhappy, then you have the wrong approach with your own self discovery, completely. It means you aren’t getting to know who you are and what you love, and allowing yourself to live it. Why are you holding yourself back? Self love is a muscle, you have to build it. Treat yourself like the soul mate of a life time and stop wasting your life. Practice compassion and random acts of kindness to you – for you.
6. Become radically aware of your mistakes and stop beating yourself up over them.
Did you ever consider that making mistakes is not the problem….expecting yourself to be perfect and never make any is. What are mistakes really ? Aren’t they just our life lessons. Moments where we develop our discernment and wisdom. If you consider something you’ve chosen or done a mistake, so what ? Does it mean something horrible has happened or, does it means you tried something that didn’t work. And now, it is time to try something else instead. I think it means you tried, you accomplished a result, you engaged and now you can learn from it, pull up those panties, forgive yourself, and move on.
7. Take your time when you choose anything.
Being in a rush to avoid regrets or from fear of loosing something, is a emotional decision making strategy that will be a regret in itself down the road. We stress ourselves out with a non-real scripts of possibilities and end up so out of alignment with who we are and what is best for us. The way you invest your time when having to make a choice about anything should be determined by your desired outcome. The way to choose is to look into the future, and see what will make you feel accomplished, what are the options that will give you pleasure and satisfaction in the choice itself. Then look into those options and then choose the best one. Doing it this way will feel fulfilling and help you not have to chase backward later, but move forward soul powered. There is no rush really, except to those who don’t have faith in the process of clarity as the foundation of successful choices.
8. Practice the power of gratitude in every way, everyday.
A life of faith in self and happiness is knowing what to be grateful for. Gratitude helps us be humble, self confident, spiritually connected and focuses our lives with a sense of purpose. No matter how bad things seem at an given moment, there is always something to be grateful for. Do you have breathe? Do you get to drink and eat today? Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have people who love you? Do you a great career ? Do you learn from your life ? Are you reading this right now ? Are you capable? Are you wealthy ? Are your children healthy ?
You’re attitude of gratitude makes the gifts in life more real. It helps you remember who you are and where you come from and it gives you a deep connection to all that has been and all that is coming to pass. Gratitude swallows negativity and fear whole. Choose to expand your heart rather than contract it and watch the waves of regret for what you think you don’t have, melt away into nothingness. Hence it is then you shall awaken the Spirit inside you that is just hungry to love you and bring you all you desire.
Be Elegant and Powerful,